Breathing Through A Hole In My Lung

Pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh IV

2008-12-11T07:39:24Z

Writing a Christmas kind of fic, To cure my block....
Probably not ever going to finish it,
Actually I never really have finished one....ever. I'm a lazy fucker it seems.

If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain

He stands alone because he's high on himself

2008-11-24T09:52:19Z

Ok it may be a little sad to spend this long laughing at cat pictures but but but ....they're so funny :D
gah I'm immature whatever

Well I haven't done much lately.....(ok understatement)
nothing, zilch, zip, nada...
Well my friends are all spending their lives buying condoms/the pill and talking to me non-stop about their boyfriends/male companions.
It's just annoying.
naww my dog just came in, he's cute see!

gah the only advice I've been given about hannah is in emma's words "oh I know! you need to write a letter!!!"
WRITE A FUCKING LETTER???!!!
and I mean, Thanks for the help...but...but...NNNNNGH
*sigh*

We need umbrellas on the inside.

2008-11-23T12:21:00Z

OH HAI!
LOOK I HAZ A WEBCAMMMM!!!!!!
heh

hehe I look like a douche/emokid
but my hair isn't straighteneddddd T____T
how sad.
lmao

Well hello there Jemma

2008-11-18T07:46:16Z

WELL WELL WELL,

IT SEEMS THAT YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN UNDERESTIMATED ME AND THE POWER OF COMMON SENSE
FOR FUTURE REFERENCE, I DID DO IT!!!!! YAYAYAYAY IMA IN UR LJ!!!

MUHAHAHAHAHA

I feel so alone............

why did i bother doing this????

BAH

He jests at scars that never felt a wound.

2008-11-02T06:15:08Z

fic :D

click for berard

Just want to be a footnote in someones happines

2008-10-29T02:13:37Z

I got to stay home && not go to school!!!
heh
my friends all think I'm sick and I'm really not :D
I should prolly be studying buuuut...
really couldn't be fucked with that
so I think I will write some fic
ya know
just for fun...
made a new buzznet since my other one was a lost cause :S
so add?!
Snap yo fingers
and oh i love my mother because...
she is letting me get my nose pierced and
SHE GOT ME TWO CD'S YESTERDAY EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN A SELFISH BIATCH
ah win!
life is getting better =]

almost halloween^^

Edit: I can't do a halloween party T_T

When you're on a holiday

2008-09-20T03:21:10Z

hullo
I'm listening to Island in the sun on repeat and i like it!
I love that song!!!!
It makes me actually like the beach
o.0
I know eh?

Sooooo........
I am absurdly happy right now and I don't even know why
cos my life kinda sucks but I'm happy!
maybe its the weather....
*remembers pain of sunburn*
ok no its definately not the weather

AHHHH
WAT AM I DOING?!
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING LIKE A PIRATE HERE

ooooh I went to festival shit && we had fairy day at school!
here are pictures yar!

Hayley,Bec,Sasha and Patti

It's just airbrush unfortunately

Bec,Hails and myself

awwww bec and hails

kalina and nicola's head

Me, hails, bec and patti

he can do no wrong

Brace myself and let go, Start it over again in mexico

2008-09-13T10:26:59Z

rawr...
I'm going to this festival thingy tomorrow!!
it's called spring into corrimal
meh
hopefully it will be fun^^
but I'm a little bored

oh and if anybody is reading this
and you never know somebody could be
if you feel like adding me...
could you actually talk a bit?
that would be nice
c'mon people make me happy
:D

bahahhahahaha

diamonds_u_ate @ 2008-09-12T21:15:00

2008-09-12T11:56:23Z

is it possible to assasinate fate?
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
meh I don't care I will try anyways
:D

these red ones make me fly and the blue ones help me fall

2008-09-10T14:11:26Z

Title: these red ones make me fly and the blue ones help me fall
Author: moi diamonds_u_ate</lj>
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: PG 13+
Disclaimer: I don't own them...yet
Warnings:swearing,could be sex scenes,homosexuality,drug use,violence
Summary: franks family is abusive towards him ever since they found out about his sexuality,gerard meets frank and falls in love,gerard becomes an addict
this is my first fic so be nice =]
[1] [2] [3]
[4]

It was as if life was suddenly thrust into a slow motion playback,
Mikey slowly came closer to Gerard, the expression on his face unfathomable. A small, involuntary whimper escaped his lips as he whispered,
‘what the hell….?’
The words were so quiet I was forced to strain my ears so I could catch every utterance,
‘YOU ASSHOLE’
Suddenly Mikey leapt on top of the bed, his hands clawing at Gerard’s face, he began to punch every bit of the unconscious body he could reach.
I stood frozen in place, staring at the spectacle going on right in front of me,
‘Mikey?! The fuck are you doing?’
He turned to face me, fist poised in midair. The slightly nerdy glasses were askew, hair sticking out in at least twenty different angles and his previously pale face now looking like a tomato…yep, by then I had decided,
This was one weird kid.
‘look man, don’t take your shit out on other people you don’t know, I mean that is completely fucked, see I have this friend right and she used to do tha-’
‘shut up frank’
I began to tell him to shove it when I noticed his bottom lip was trembling and his thin, wiry frame was shaking uncontrollably, so I shut up.
‘I do know him,’ he took a deep shuddering breath, ‘he’s my brother’
My mouth fell open as I remembered how mikey had said Gerard’s name just seconds beforehand.
‘Your brother?’
‘yeah’
We stared at each other for a second, then mikey faced his back to me and proceeded to knock the stuffing out of Gerard, I thought about stopping him, but in the end decided against it and sunk into a chair transfixed by the scene taking place before my eyes.
Gerard stirred, I must admit, I was surprised he’d managed to last that long without moving as some kid punched his lights out. His eyes flew open and he sat up abruptly, sending mikey hurtling towards the floor.
‘What the fuck is happening?’
Gerard rose a shaking hand to touch his nose, and brought it back to stare, perplexed at the dark red liquid now smeared liberally on his fingers.
‘what am I doing here?’
A long silence ensued,
‘You’d think he’d ask why he’s bleeding first wouldn’t you?’ I said casually aside to Mikey who was now lying, sprawled in a heap on the floor. He grimaced rubbing his back with one hand,
‘Not really, it tends to happen quite a bit’
I turned incredulously to Gerard,
‘Does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on here?’
‘fuck do I know’ he replied,
We both turned to Mikey who was now slowly coming to his feet, grabbing the armrest of a nearby chair he pulled himself into it to sit down and glared at his brother,
‘ you’re a fucktard, that’s what’s going on’
Gerard still looked like he had no idea which way was up. What was with this guy? How could he still manage to be so oblivious to his obvious predicament?
‘I’m a fucktard? Since when?’
‘I don’t know, maybe since you went to Bert’s house to do only god knows what, got stoned out of your mind then almost overdosed and ended up unconscious at a hospital with some guy you don’t even know. AND YOU ARE WONDERING WHY YOU ARE A FUCKTARD?!’
Mikey’s shoulders began to shake, pushing his stupid glasses further up his long nose, he said in a small vulnerable voice,
‘why would you do that gee?’
A single tear slowly slid down his cheek, brushing it away impatiently Mikey imploringly at his older brother,
‘Why?’
Gerard’s opened his mouth to speak, and abruptly closed it his hazel eyes focused on mine, I shrugged,
‘I..well..uh-,’
The raven haired teenager stuttered fishing for the right words to say,
‘well you see-’
‘his drink was spiked.’ I quickly interrupted Gerard before he could go any further and cause any more damage.
‘uh…..I thought so!’
Fuck. I seriously could’ve throttled him, that guy has no idea how to lie. Resisting the urge to pulverise Gerard I continued,
‘ Yeah Mikey, those kids must’ve given him something ‘cos when I found him he was just drinking and the doctors said they found traces of it left in his system.’
Woot! Ninja points for me and my flawless acting skills!
Actually the doctors hadn’t told me shit but I decided to withhold that particular piece of information for the time being.
Mikey sniffled slightly,
‘r-really?’
‘uh yep’
Gerard and I both nodded convincingly in unison. Mikey looked at the both of us carefully, announced that he needed more caffeine and promptly left the ward.
Unable to stop the grin spreading across my face I turned to Gerard resisting the urge to give him a high five.
My grin evaporated. He was sitting as immobile as humanly possible staring at my face so intently that his gaze immediately made me uncomfortable, I immediately felt heat that washed over my face, ok, so maybe I wasn’t too good at handling these kind of situations.
‘ Um thanks for saving my ass, you didn’t need to do that,’
He looked down avoiding my eyes in embarrassment.
‘ Nah…don’t worry you would’ve done the same for me I’ll bet.’
Gerard looked up and without warning a wolfish grin suddenly lit up his features making him look much younger than mikey, and definitely more inexperienced.
‘I’m frank’ I smiled, holding out my hand, as he opened his mouth to speak again, ‘your Gerard, I know I threatened your…uh…friend?’
He looked down, slightly embarrassed,
‘uh yeah, I’m going to have to talk to him’
‘that little ass-’
Stopping short as the door to the ward opened My mouth dropped open forming a small ‘O’.
Standing in the doorway was my father,
‘ Frank do you think we could have a word?’
I sat still in a state of shock for a second, until the latter cleared his throat.
‘Uh sure we can…Gerard this is my dad, dad, Gerard.’
Gerard smiled,
‘ Nice to meet you.’
My father just stared at him, face devoid of all emotion,
‘Frank. Outside now.’
Gerard’s smile faltered becoming a mix of curiosity and confusion as I was ushered out of the ward my fathers fingers digging deep into the flesh of my right shoulder.
We entered a vacant ward, I braced myself, waiting for the inevitable.
He grabbed my hair, tugging it so hard tears filled my eyes. Smashing my head against the wall he leaned in close to me, his wheezing voice filled my ears, dark and menacing,
‘Where the fuck have you been?’
He threw my head against the wall again, the pain imploded in the depths of my skull rebounding on every inch of it. I let out an involuntary cry, big mistake.
My father laughed licking his lips in anticipation as he let go of my shirt letting me sink to the floor.
He kicked my stomach,
‘I said where have we been Frankie?’
Lifting me up by the hair again he slammed my face against the white hospital floor, I bit down on the inside of my cheek to stop myself screaming, The tangy metallic taste of blood lingered on the back of my tongue slowly flooding my mouth. I pulled myself onto all fours and spat out a gobbet of the dark liquid, staining the perfect white of it’s granite surface.
Coughing I attempted to pull myself to my feet, this resulted in several sharp blows to my groin. Panting I crawled away pathetically, he bent down and I was roughly hauled to my feet,
‘your mother was so worried about her little shit of a son,’
My dads once handsome face was contorted into a mask of rage, his skin prematurely lined, the mouth covered in a spider web of small scars, a result of his many years smoking chipped and cracked bongs.
‘she didn’t look at my face for days, how does that make you feel huh?’
I turned away, disgusted,
‘LOOK AT ME’
He threw me against the wall again driving his fist against my head just missing my temple, he slammed his fists against my face in an endless beat.
Suddenly it stopped, the pain rushing to catch up with me.
‘Frank I wanted to pay you…’
Mikey stood in the open doorway holding two takeaway cups, he took in my bleeding face and my fathers bloodshot, bleary glare.
‘what is happening here?’
‘nothing, just a slight…..misunderstanding’
My fathers voice slid over the words, daring mikey to challenge him. He grinned baring his stained, almost black teeth and made his way towards the exit, turning his head he spoke over his shoulder.
‘We will be expecting you at dinner Frank. Your mother wishes to speak with you about a…delicate subject.’
Laughing manically he left the ward.
I sunk to the ground, burying my head in my hands. Mikey sat down awkwardly, it was kinda obvious that he was helplessly confused about how to comfort me.
Hiding my face from view I shrugged him off bringing my knees to my chest.
I heard the door creak open, taking a deep shuddering breath I tried to hold in my sobs.
Two warm arms wrapped around me, holding me close, I inhaled the mingled scent of cigarettes and vanilla as a lock of raven hair brushed against my face.
Breaking down into waves of tears I buried my face against Gerard’s white hospital gown, his pale lips brushed against my cheek as he held me to his chest.
‘so….’
Mikey’s slightly obnoxious voice broke the emotional intensity of the moment,
‘ You need a place to stay huh?’
****

diamonds_u_ate @ 2008-09-07T15:00:00

2008-09-07T05:14:54Z

here is ma best buddy emma!
and one day i was kinda bored so i photoshopped her
mua ha ha ha!
*evil*

bahahaha
she will kill me

its not very well done i know :S

diamonds_u_ate @ 2008-09-07T14:07:00

2008-09-07T04:26:17Z

I only just got up and it is....
*drumroll*
2:07pm!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~oh thats not good huh?~~
ugh people I hate my writing
it annoys me intensely T.T
but I wrote this weird shit a couple of months ago and i feel like sharing :D
its a little death note-esque
but yarr, under the cut eh?

At approximately twelve pm on the 31^st of July, 2008, in the city of new York, a man named Jeffrey Walters found his fourteen year old cat dead on the front porch.

At approximately twelve pm on the 31^st of July, 2008 in the city of Vancouver, a woman named Fiona Louis accidentally erased a memoir she had been working on for fifteen years from her Microsoft computer.

At approximately twelve pm on the 31^st of July, 2008 in the city of Paris, a child named Edith McGrath stumbled upon the letter that would subsequently lead to the disappearance of her mother.

Are you curious as to why I am writing all this down?

Do you wonder how in the world I would ever get my hands on this information?

You of course are asking for the truth aren’t you?

Its not pretty.

But I will divulge to you my secrets anyway…

These three events occurred simultaneously

In three different cities

To three very different people,

But these events were nowhere near coincidental,

They were all put into place.

By me.

I go by many different names,

Verderben,

fatalidad,

Гибель

Perdição,

Ruine,

You may call me doom.

Are you wondering why I have deigned you worthy of my time?

Its because I have a confession to make,

I disobeyed the laws of the universe.

You see, everything I do has a purpose,

Everything eventually meets its demise,

Every person ever created has their life written out before they are born,

But one day I got bored.

As I looked down upon the world I decided I wanted to experiment,

I chose to save a human from their death.

****

At approximately twelve pm on the 31^st of July in the year 2008, in the city of Sydney.

A 14 year old girl was hit by an off duty bus whilst crossing the road.

By the time the paramedics arrived she was close to death,

The paramedics administered CPR on the girl but they knew they had lost her,

After being declared dead for a total amount of three minutes and thirty five seconds

All hope was lost.

At that precise time I clicked my fingers.

She suddenly drew a deep rasping breath feeling a rush of clear air flow into her lungs.

They all said it was a miracle,

I knew it was a mistake,

I had just given a tiny, insignificant human life form the ability to shape her own destiny.

How entertaining

****

diamonds_u_ate @ 2008-09-06T16:07:00

2008-09-06T06:27:03Z

Yes I know this is old news but.....
I STILL CAN'T GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE HAS MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!

I think he looks gorgeous with it...
but everyone I know hates it >.<

yeah!
more proof that us ranga's are taking over the world
(ranga- aussie speak for redhead)

Geesus has done it again :D

diamonds_u_ate @ 2008-09-06T15:46:00

2008-09-06T05:54:03Z

-franks POV-

‘And his name?’

The nurse stared at me, brown eyes wide behind her overly large glasses,

‘what?’

‘the boys name?’

She repeated, growing slightly frustrated,

‘oh m’kay….its….uh…Gerard! Yep, that’s it, Gerard.’

I prayed to god I was right, forgetting for a second that I wasn’t catholic anymore.

‘Does he have a last name?’

‘erm…I really have no idea’ I said releasing a nervous giggle, I didn’t want to be charged for both underage drinking and drink driving, not to mention the fact that I had been driving without a license as well.

She stared at me for a second,

‘do you know anything about him at all?’

‘hey! what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t really ask his friends seeing as they were the ones that gave him the pills first place, and I had to get him out of there.’

I fiddled with my fringe for a second biting down on my lip ring,

‘fuck, I’m tired’

She gave me a large, overly false smile,

‘your name please?’

‘Frank Anthony Iero’

The nurse scribbled on her clipboard,

‘thank you, that is all,’

She turned to walk away,

‘wait! Can I go see him?’

‘Ward E110,’she shouted over her shoulder continuing down the corridor,

‘don’t bother pointing it out I’ve been here a million times, bitch,’

I muttered under my breath as I headed towards the cafeteria needing coffee.

****

I walked slowly down the hospital corridor sipping my crappy coffee as I looked for ward Ell0, suddenly a hand grabbed my shoulder almost making me drop both of the takeaway cups I was holding,

Whipping around I came face to face with a tall, well tall to me, slightly gangly kid wearing thickly wired glasses and a shirt emblazoned with the slogan, ‘je suis Morrissey,’ A teenage fan of Morrisey? Living in this town? What the fuck?

He smiled shyly at me asking,

‘would you know were E105 is?’

‘no clue, would you know were E110 is?’

‘uh….sorry’

‘no probs, hey would you mind helping me find it?’ I asked hiccuping slightly,

The kid gave me a freaked out sort of look and said,

‘umm…sure, if I can have some coffee’

‘deal’

I handed him the travel cup, oops, looks like there’s no coffee for Gerard, I smirked slightly and turned to my companion.

‘Frank Iero’ extending my hand I grinned as he shook it,

‘I’m mikey, mikey way’

We traipsed down the hall way in silence for a while then I asked,

‘so…uh how come your in a hospital at three in the morning mikey?’

‘oh well I had to sneak out and this is the only time I could do it,’ a grim shadow passed over his face as he gave a response to my unspoken question,

‘I might have a STD’

‘oh shit, that’s not good.’

Mikey smiled slightly,

‘what about you?’

‘oh me? I’m just visiting this guy, it’s a long story’

‘I have time’

He smiled at me as we both continued down the overly bright corridor,

‘well ok, I was at this…party’ Mikey snickered slightly before trying to cough and cover up his amusement,

‘What?’

‘nothing…well you kinda look a bit out of it’

‘yeah all that’s keeping me going is the caffeine’ I grinned,

‘anyways, so me and my friend noticed that this guy was acting kinda….odd’

‘odd?’ Mikey prompted,

‘we recognised the symptoms, our friend died last year from an overdose on ecstasy’

‘I’m sorry’

‘its ok you didn’t do anything…’ I trailed off staring dejectedly at my battered up chucks, ‘So I tried to help him and he passed out in my arms, I thought I’d drive him here’

‘that was nice of you’

‘well his friends were obviously not gonna do anything’

I opened the door to E110, to find Gerard’s unconscious form,

‘hey thanks for helping me Mikey,’ I received no response from the latter, Turning around I found him staring at Gerard, his face drained of all colour,

‘uh…Mikey?’

He took a step towards the bed,

‘Gerard?’

*****

A/N-
sorry i haven't posted in so long
my mate died so things have been hectic
also sorry this is so short
there will be longer ones in future :D

You should close your eyes, that blue is getting me high

2008-09-06T05:48:28Z

ok my friend, bec, is a very good writer.....

So I thought I'd post something of hers!!!!!!!!
:D read it, it kicks ass
huzzah!

three cheers for friendship!
This belongs to bec...
But I think its cool^^
so imma post it!!!!!

Every day I wake to see you
You hair, your lips, your icy eyes
Every night I sleep to dream you
Me, I burn for you – like a thousand fireflies
Waiting in line for the bus
My eyes tracing the smooth line of your jaw
I guess I shouldn’t make such a fuss
But with you – I can’t help but want more
I know you’ll never notice me
But is it wrong to hope I’ll catch your eye?
And finally the day you talk to me, the day you see
I never want to say goodbye
But as time passed
And as the moon fades
My love for you is over too fast
And you step out of the light, back into the shade.

I asked her to do this one!!!!!!!
a day like any other
walking down this desolate street
a bus goes by, just another
group of people i'll never meet
on i walk watching the sinking sun
waiting for the rising moon
he has always outdone
i hope whatever it is, it will come soon
a crack in the pavement
ignored like all the rest
maybe i shouldn't be so complacent
its not a time to jest
my foot catches the concrete
as i fall head over

WOOT!!!!!!!
I love my friends,smart classy bitches!!!!!!!!

We all wanna party when the funeral ends

2008-09-06T05:00:16Z

hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi
hihihihihihihihihihihihi!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahem
excuse my hyperness...

YEOW
i dont even know why I'm like this....>.<

~~i have an account that i don't fucking use AT ALL!~~

THAT IS OVER!

cos now i actually like my journal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~but it still needs work >.<~~

imma post some shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ART

2008-07-23T09:59:38Z

Well ok I'm kinda bored so here's something I sketched yesterday
...its Joshua Third from The Horrors
I'm kinda obsessed with his hair
=]

heres something you dont care about

2008-07-14T12:24:40Z

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I can pass this guy."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

frerardfic

2008-07-14T06:53:14Z

Title: these red ones make me fly and the blue ones help me fall
Author: diamonds_u_ate</lj>
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: PG 13+
Disclaimer: I don't own them...yet
Warnings:swearing,could be sex scenes,homosexuality,drug use,violence
Summary: franks family is abusive towards him ever since they found out about his sexuality,gerard meets frank and falls in love,gerard becomes an addict
this is my first fic so be nice

{1} {2}

-Gerard’s POV-

I tugged on my hoodie and began to tiptoe towards the front door trying not to make any sound,
A light flicked on,
‘And where do you think you’re going?’
I froze and whipped around to find mikey on the couch cradling his rebound friends, Ben and Jerry, breathing a sigh of relief I replied in annoyance,
‘fucking hell mikey, I’m only going to Bert’s place,’
‘doesn’t he live in a crack house?’
I shook my head glancing down at the ice cream bowl in his hands,
‘Alicia dump you again eh?’
He scowled and gave me the finger, smirking slightly, I reached for the doorhandle,
‘Oh yeah and Gerard?’
I paused by the door,
‘what?’
‘remember to use protection!’
he yelled over his shoulder causing our fifty year old next door neighbour to drop his gardening shears in shock and whip around giving me a mingled look of disbelief and disgust.
‘thanks for the tip mikey’
I said dryly, slamming the door behind me. The faint sounds of his uncontrollable laughter following me down the street.

-Franks POV-

I let Jemma pull me through the crowd.
‘why am I here?’ I said loudly, so she could hear me over the heavy metal blasting in our ears,
‘for some fun Frankie! you are in desperate need of a party,’
I sighed, as much as I hated to admit it, she was telling the truth, I hadn’t been outside the confines of her house for weeks,
I knew that I would have to go back to my own house at some point, but seriously, would you want to go back to your abusive bitch of a mother and her ongoing facade with your junkie father who is oblivious to everything on the planet except the grinning face of his dealer?
Didn’t think so.
I sighed, let my emotions meld into a mask devoid of any negative feelings and made my way to the middle of the room.

After hours of endless beats being drummed into my head and alcohol being forced into my hand, I noticed I was a little drunk, shit, I really didn’t feel like a hangover.
Suddenly a hand gripped my shoulder, I looked into the wide eyed face of my friend Ray,
‘s’up Toro?’ I grinned stupidly staring at his gravity defying afro,
‘frank, see that guy over there?’ ray pointed towards a slightly secluded corner
‘uh…noooo!’
‘frank be serious and stop staring at my afro, the one with the long black hair, in the hoodie,’
‘yep….awww do you have a crush Toro?’ I nudged Ray knowingly,
‘Fuck off you Idiot, doesn’t what he’s doing ring a bell?’
I squinted staring at the guy whose chest was now rapidly rising and falling as his glazed over eyes stared vacantly around the room a blissfully ignorant smile present on his face,
Recognising the symptoms immediately I turned to Ray,
‘how many?’
‘ I got no idea but he hasn’t stopped’
‘c’mon,’ I grabbed his arm weaving my way through the crowd to the corner just in time to see him take another,
‘hey!’ Ray yelled over the music approaching the supplier of the pills, some dirty looking greasy haired blonde kid,
‘you wanna stop giving them to him?’
‘why?’
the guy replied, judging from the size of the pupils in his bloodshot eyes and the look of bliss written clearly across his unshaven face, he had taken something much heavier and was beginning to feel it,
‘I don’t know…maybe…‘COS HE MIGHT FUCKING O.D.,’ I yelled grabbing the front of his shirt, my livid face inches from his, I do some stupid things when I drink, but it seemed to work,
‘its Gerard’

-Gerard’s POV-

‘Gerard are you ok?’
An annoyingly high pitched voice echoed through my head, rebounding on every inch of my brain, usually I would have been pissed off at whoever was interrupting me but this time it was different.
For the first time in my life I felt like I was in harmony with the rest of the world.
I gasped for air, incredible amounts of happiness washing over me, it was the closest thing to an outer body experience I had ever had.
‘shi-it,’
My voice sounded so different to my own ears, it had this weird uplifted lilt at the end of every word I spoke, put it this way, I sounded like a fucking flower child.
For some insane reason I found this unbearably funny, it was just so fucking funny, I clutched at my sides my entire body trembling with laughter,
‘Gerard….can…you…hear….me?’
The voice spoke to me again, was this guy high on helium or what? He sounded like an 11 year old girl on her first shopping spree,
‘GERARD?’
I whipped around and stumbled to one side, regaining my balance, I peered at the owner of the voice. A shadow with impossibly huge hair stood before me, or was that its head? I had no idea but it made me laugh even harder. Giggling uncontrollably, I fell to the floor, my body wreaked with spasms of mirth.
Through the tears that blurred my vision I saw Bert mumbling to another guy, this sparked my curiosity but I couldn’t stop laughing,
I felt two hands gently helping me up off the floor,
‘what do you mean there’s nothing wrong? look at the size of his fucking pupils.’
I heard a new voice yelling at Bert, I decided I liked this new voice, it was a normal pitch and somehow sounded familiar, I hugged whoever helped me up, my way of thanking him for having such a nice sounding voice.
Grinning, I lifted my face to stare at the ceiling.
‘fu-ucking pu-urple dude…..so pu-u-urple’
So much purple, allowing rivalry from no other colour, the walls and ceiling were covered in it, the colour was driving me insane, taking over me, blotting out all other thoughts.
I felt like I was slowly drowning in darkness.
My head lolled to one side, my body sagging in the other guys arms, incomprehensible thoughts hit me faster than raging bolts of lightning, I tried to lift my arm but it felt too heavy.
Then everything went blank.

-authors note-
I hate this chapter
I wrote it over and over again and just couldn’t get it right
So please comment and let me know what you think
---

And now these red ones make me fly and the blue ones help me fall

2008-07-07T14:10:46Z

And now these red ones make me fly and the blue ones help me fall

-Gerard’s POV-

His hands slowly found their way up my shirt his lips pressed hard against mine,
‘Gerard’ he moaned my name, our hips grinding together,
‘Gerard,’ my hand twisted in his jet black hair,
‘GERARD!,’
The voice of my History teacher Mrs Williams snapped me back into reality with a harsh jolt. I sat up abruptly feeling the heat creeping up my neck,
‘oh, you’ve decided to join us Mr Way, so I imagine you will know all about the battle at waterloo then?’
‘uh…’
‘didn’t think so’
She sneered derisively waddling away down the aisle on her heavy feet, if you’re wondering what Mrs Williams looks like…just imagine a female Don Vito wearing large librarian glasses, how she became a ‘Mrs’ I will never know.
I pressed a cold hand against my face hoping to cool down some of the heat, I had been dreaming about that guy from the store again. Every night since I had first seen him my lust had been unbearable, I would toss in my bed, sleepless, my head occupied with thoughts of his eyes, his hair, his…
My daydreaming was cut short as I felt something hit the back of my head.
Whipping around I came face to face with my tormentors, a group of jocks who wouldn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground and their slutty girlfriends complete with fake tan and clip in extensions.
‘Fuck off’ I growled
‘go cry to yo momma stupid mother fucker’
The ringleader, Farris, sent a spit ball flying at my face, it hit its target,
‘Funking cunt’ I retorted, louder than I meant to, sending oooh’s around the classroom, I gave Farris the finger and turned around to find the scarlet face of my teacher just inches from mine,
‘GERARD WAY,’ she screeched, her many chins wobbling,
‘OUT NOW!’ she jabbed a single finger the size of a salami towards the door.
I trudged out of the classroom muttering under my breath as I went, insults and slurs were thrown at me from the rest of the class. Although they probably wouldn’t be as open about it as Farris and his group, the rest of my class also despised me. Somehow I could be the most well known person while at the same the least popular,
Oh and just in case you were wondering , yep, my life is fucking pathetic.
I didn’t end up going to see the school counsellor which is where I’m supposed to go when I’m sent out of class, instead I’d usually just walk around or if I was lucky and there were no teachers around, I’d sneak out to go around the back of the local liquor store and grab some tequila, there was always some lying around. That really is the extent of how fucked up this town is, I mean, who the hell builds a school opposite a liquor store?
My thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt when the hood of my jacket was suddenly tugged down over my eyes. As I pulled it back pissed off at whoever had interrupted me a reluctant grin spread over my face,
‘BERT!,’
Tall, with blonde shoulder length, slightly greasy hair and a reputation to rival Pete Doherty’s, Bert McCracken was one of my best and only friends.
‘what’s up gee? did you get kicked out of class again?’ he grinned
‘yep’
‘what for this time?’
‘I called Farris a cunt’
‘nice’ he replied
As we walked out of the school grounds he took out a packet of cigarettes and wordlessly handed me one,
‘so gee’ we sauntered to the back of the notorious liquor store ‘you’re coming to my party right?’
‘what?’
‘my party’ Bert repeated, slightly exasperated at my vacant expression,
‘but its not your birthday’
He sighed in resignation whilst picking up a bottle of vodka,
‘Oh Gerard, what will I do with you?’ he took a long sip savouring the taste for a second before speaking again, ‘since when do I need a special occasion to get stoned?’
Bert smiled shaking his head,
‘this weekend, if you’re not there I’ll tell Mikey you lost your virginity to a guy, wait, even better, I’ll say it was Farris.’
I took the bottle and laughed nervously, I was just thankful Bert couldn’t read minds.

-Franks POV-
‘So what happened then?’
‘then she said some shit about how he’d gone to get me help or something…’
I trailed off lost in thought,
‘oh’
I was at Jemma’s house again, it was sort of like my unofficial residence, we were sitting on her bed reading tarot cards, weird huh?
Yeah well she’s into all that stuff, always has been.
Jemma had waist length red hair with a thick full fringe that covered most of her eyes, she wore a short black dress with striped white and black stockings,
she bit her lip, frowning in consternation ,
‘what?’ I asked
she blinked rapidly, to anyone else this might have been flirtatious but I knew it meant she was withholding information,
‘nothing, don’t worry’
‘don’t bullshit me Jem I know that face’
I spoke dryly
She cleared her throat,
‘Frank, is it possible they could want to put you in therapy?’
‘so? I’ve been in and out of therapy my whole life,’
‘no….I mean like…rehab,’
‘Rehab?’
‘so to speak’
She glanced down shuffling her cards, the chipped polish on her nails shining in the light. I never thought about it before, but I had seen things like that on TV, I guess if a family was homophobic enough….
‘I guess they could’
Jemma sighed and drew a card from the deck with the ease of long practice.
‘The eight of cups, for the past, recklessness and a change of perspective,’
She dropped the card on the bed and pulled out a second one,
‘the nine of swords, for the present, martyrdom and new life from suffering’
placing this card beside the second, Jemma grinned and said,
‘drum roll please’
I complied by drumming out a rhythm on my knees,
‘and the card for your future is…’
I drew a deep breath in anticipation,
Her eyes widened,
‘what is it?’
She dramatically turned the card over to reveal,
‘The devil, meaning true evil, greed, bondage to a person, situation or thing, the forming of an unhealthy addiction’
I swallowed,
‘shit.’

-Authors note-

sorry this is so cliche

-----

repost

2008-06-26T12:26:44Z

Title: these red ones make me fly and the blue ones help me fall
Author: diamonds_u_ate</lj>
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: PG-13+
Disclaimer: I don't own them...yet
Summary:franks family is abusive towards him ever since they found out about his sexuality,gerard meets frank and falls in love,gerard becomes an addict

And now these red ones make me fly and the blue ones help me fall

---Gerard’s POV---

'GEE! come look at these badges,' The loud voice of my younger brother, Mikey interrupted my thoughts, 'look at this one how funny is it?'

hyperactive as usual Mikey gave me a badge with 'Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks your an asshole' written on it'

' ha ha I can't control myself' I said in an overly sarcastic voice,

the younger boy pushed his glasses further up his nose and began to rifle through a clearance bin full of merchandise.

'What are you doing mikey? Its not like you have money anyway,' I snickered

Mikey thought for a second biting his lip, suddenly he grinned triumphantly

'fifty bucks and you can have my south park DVD'

'fuck off'

'thirty five?'

'deal'

I reached into the pocket of my skinny jeans and handed him the money, Mikey seized it and bounded away like a puppy dog, I shook my head, some people really should stay away from coffee.

I was pretty annoyed at this store, it was pathetically stocked, I mean it had more DVDs than CD's and its supposed to be a fucking CD store, I fumed in outrage and sauntered over to see if they had any iron maiden.

'Fucking hell' I swore under my breath in frustration, only the number of the beast and just about every self respecting iron maiden fan had that one already. In the end due to a lack of anything better to do and a strong desire to spend some money I settled on a green day wristband.

'just this please.' I dropped the wristband on the counter,

'mmm....'Kay, I’ll just get the price on that' the guy behind the counter began typing on an old windows 98. My breath caught as I stared at him, his hair was black and the length was just right, not too long or too short, he wore a long sleeved black and white striped shirt under his work uniform his silver lip ring glinted in the bright light of the store, I swallowed suddenly feeling extremely nervous.

He glanced up to find me staring at him,

‘Sorry about this, they give me a list of prices on everything but the wristbands, stupid mother fuckers,' he muttered mutinously,

I giggled slightly. ‘Its Ok I just felt like buying something anyway,' He grinned flashing perfectly straight teeth, his eyes flicked back to the screen,

'Ok that comes to five bucks,' I handed the money over my hand accidentally brushing his. The smile on his face broadened, I opened my mouth gathering the courage to ask him out when Mikeys voice rung through the store,

'HEY GEE! WE GOTTA GO ‘I mumbled a thank you, ‘C’MON HURRY UP' feeling the heat creeping up my neck I turned to shuffle out the door.

I resisted the urge to throttle mikey with great difficulty as he talked non-stop in my ear, I just grunted and nodded as he droned on, fantasies involving me and the guy behind the counter danced into my head, no stop, I knew I wasn't gay I had always liked girls, wanted girls, but this was stronger, my heart was beating faster...

'Gerard?' once again my brothers voice broke my reverie

'hmmm?'

'y'know that’s the third time I’ve said your name?’

‘what the fuck do you want mikey?' I was pissed now

‘nothing just...' he trailed off going slightly pink

‘WHAT MIKEY?’

‘why are you walking so weird? you look like you've got a boner or something,’

‘SHUT THE FUCK UP’ I felt the heat rushing to my face, we walked in silence for a while, I glanced over to see that mikey was smirking,

‘ha, I knew it'

-----Franks POV-----

I couldn't sleep at all, glancing at the alarm I saw it was eight thirty, usually I slept in until ten or eleven but today the only thing keeping me in bed was sheer laziness. I sighed and rolled out of bed tugging on my old misfits shirt and my tight black skinny jeans, I then dragged myself to the bathroom to put on some eyeliner.

‘Frank?’ my mothers voice called from downstairs,

‘FRANK' she screeched her voice rising a couple of octaves,

’ FRANK GET DOWN HERE NOW’ I sighed, what did that stupid bitch want now? putting the make-up down on the counter I slowly descended the stairs my feet dragging with every step.

‘Where the fuck were you yesterday?' she hissed spitting each word at me

' I went to Jemma’s house for an hour,' Jemma had been my best friend since she had moved here from England six years ago, ‘So you went over to that lesbian bitch's house to get stoned when you were supposed to be grounded did you?’

I noticed her eyes were bloodshot she took a step closer to me, I inhaled through my nose, she stunk of whiskey,

‘I SAID DID YOU GO TO THAT SLUTS HOUSE INSTEAD OF STAYING HERE?' 'FUCK YOU, I’d rather go over to my bisexual best friends place than stay here and get treated like shit by you mother fuckers.'

I glanced around the living room, it was littered with broken bottles and fast food containers,

‘where’s dad?’ I asked

she swallowed, her eyes flicked away for a second,’ your father has gone to find someone to help you with your...problem’

the anger rose up through my chest choking me, I couldn't see anything other than her crimson face

‘I’M GAY MUM NOT STUPID,I BET HE'S GONE TO SEE HIS DEALER OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT,ITS SO OBVIOUS HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN HIS LATEST LINE,’

she grabbed my arm shoving me into the wall

‘HOW DARE YOU TALK THAT WAY YOU UNGRATEFUL PEICE OF SHIT,GO TO YOUR ROOM...NOW.’ she screamed in my face pushing me to the floor,

‘I HATE YOU, YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT' I yelled at her and ran up the stairs to my room slamming the door behind me. I collapsed on my bed exhausted.